Our first book club read is here!
On the second page of the book we read the first part of Julian’s journal entry. He states the following:
“Everyone lies about their lives. What would happen if you shared the truth instead? The one thing that defines you, that makes everything else about you fall into place? Not on the internet, but with those real people around you?
This book states its “thesis” very early on, do you agree with that we all have one thing that defines us?
He goes on to write “maybe telling that story would change your life, or the life of someone you’ve not yet met” - Lets pretend that we do indeed have one thing that defines us, do you think sharing it would change your life in a meaningful way?
I find it ironic that I am indeed sharing so much of my life with you all on the internet. Do you think sharing on the internet is easier? Does that make it less authentic?
Lets get the discussion going in the comments below! I’ll check back with new questions as we go.
1) I don't think there is one thing that defines us, but I think there is could be a large part of ourselves we try to hide from others, that could be defining if made public.
2) I agree that being honest and public with your story could change your life or someone else's. I wish everyone had the courage to be totally honest and own their story. But while I think it could change your life or someone else's, I think often some things are hidden to protect other people. I'm not sure if that makes it right or if that's a reason to not own your story publicly. Just another angle to look that that. I do agree with what Kaleigh though. If it's a straightforward "I'm lonely" or "I carry this guilt" I think saying that out loud would for sure benefit you and others. And Brittany, I agree that if properly executed (I don't even know what that would look like, but let's just say someone figures it out) of course I think it would benefit lots of people. I love the idea of everyone owning their stories and having the courage to share. But definitely easier said than done.
3) Yes. I think sharing on the internet is easier. Simply because we get to pick and choose what we share. Even when people decide to not share just their "highlight reel" and maybe share a struggle, it's still carefully selected and worded.
Hello! I’m very excited to be here!
1. I do not agree that we all have one thing that defines us. People are complicated and are defined by many different things. Even the characters in the book cannot be defined by a single thing. For example, Monica’s one thing is that she wants to get married and have a family however she can’t be defined by that alone. She is also driven by her desire to make her mom proud, to live a life of purpose (by quitting her corporate job and starting the cafe), by bringing joy to her customers and making her community a better place. All of these things make her who she really is and not what she sees herself as, a sad aging spinster.
2. If we did all have just one thing that defined us in our own eyes and affected how we live our lives then I do think sharing it could benefit ourselves. Julian for example shares that he is lonely and as a result finds himself no longer alone. If someone caused a car accident that resulted in someone else injured or worse they may let that accident define them, but if they shared that guilt with others they may find the help the need to move past it and forgive themselves.
3. I think we all know that the internet tends to be a highlight reel of all the awesome out of the ordinary parts of our lives, whether it be vacations, engagement/baby/wedding announcements, big purchases, whatever it may be. The average person isn’t posting about the day to day that makes up the majority of our lives. There are of course plenty of people sharing the real, raw moments of their lives in hopes of finding solidarity or providing motivation but I think by and large that is not the case. Also, I think many people are afraid of saying the wrong thing on the internet when the number of eyes reading it is much larger than the few people you might say it to in person. I think for these reasons often (but not always) what is shared online is less authentic than what would be shared in a conversation over dinner or drinks.